Mother

Knows Best!

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. And for the first time in my entire life, I cannot send my mother flowers, a thoughtful card, or even call her to tell her Happy Mother’s Day. You see, last year in October of 2019, she left this world to be with the Lord. Please know, I do not write this for sadness or pity, but rather the opposite, for celebration and honor of a life well lived, an example to us all! I want to share with you all the beauty, kindness, resilience, strength, and unconditional love she had for me, my family, and everyone she knew.

My mom was a simple lady, born and raised on a ranch in Northern New Mexico, she lacked for nothing and was grateful for everything. She passed away in late 2019 quite unexpectedly, and I had the absolute honor and pleasure to lead her only service at the grave site. I share below some highlights of the service out of deep honor and respect for an incredible woman, my mother!

Viola ‘bunnie’ foss

11/7/40 - 10/16/19

October 19, 2019: We gather together today to commit Viola Bernice “Bunnie” Wheatley Foss, to her final resting place alongside her husband and one true love, Dean Gary Foss. We comfort each other in our grief and to honor the life Bunnie led. A life that was full of Christ, happiness, laughter, and love, through good times as well as in bad.

This is the way we will always remember Bunnie, that she lived her life as an example to each and every person she met that love is an action, not just a feeling. And the practice of giving of ourselves is the truest way to honor God.

Bunnie’s favorite bible verse is Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

The meaning of being a mother is virtually endless. A mother is a protector, teacher, disciplinarian, and friend. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many personal wants and needs for those of their children. A mother gives unconditional love. A mother works hard to make sure their child is equipped with the knowledge, skills and abilities to not only survive but excel as a human being. Being a mother is perhaps the hardest, most rewarding job a woman will ever experience.

Viola Bernice “Bunnie” Wheatley Foss, was born on November 7, 1940, in Springer, New Mexico. She was an only child to the beautiful, resourceful, and loving Caleb and Mildred Wheatley. Bunnie was raised on the CS Ranch northern New Mexico and enjoyed the simple country life. While she had no brothers and sisters, she had a very close extended family with Les and Linda Davis and their children of the CS Ranch.

Upon graduating high school in 1958, Bunnie moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico, and became a medical assistant to a dermatologist. Once in Albuquerque, she met Dean Gary Foss and they married in 1962.

Bunnie and Dean were heavily involved with the church and made several lifelong friends. Many of these friends played a key role in my mom’s life after my father’s early departure to heaven 30 years ago in 1989.

She is survived and dearly loved by her children, Jeff and wife, Christine, Michael and wife, Anita, and Melissa; grandchildren, Brittney, Aubrey, Bryson, Hailey, Kaitlin, Suzanna, Kale, Hannah, and Caleb; great-grandchildren, Bryleigh, Evie, and Leighton.

The FOSS’s

Dean, Bunnie, Jeff, Michael, & Missy

Bunnie went into the open arms of her Lord for eternity on Wednesday, October 16, 2019.

Bunnie was a simple woman but not to be underestimated. She was a strong Christian woman and loved her kids, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and her dogs. She was loved for her spunk and admired for her strength and grit. She had a feisty nature and a joyful spirit. She was protective and a woman of deep spiritual belief and emotion.

Our parents taught us tough love, to be a devout follower of Jesus. They taught us to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” as it states in Matthew 6:33.

Bunnie enjoyed quilting, knitting, crafts, and gardening, but most of all, sending handwritten cards to each of her children and grandchildren. From our oldest daughter’s first birth, Bunnie sent all three of our kids handwritten cards on every birthday and most holidays. As our kids went off to college, they went through the boxes were we stored the cards and were amazed and overwhelmed. Each card held a personal note to them sharing kindness and joy, celebrating them from a deep over-pouring love of a dear Grandmother. Faithfulness adds up. For better or worse, positive or negative, things we faithfully do can become detrimental and add up to big, bad habits or, they can become disciplines that bless our lives and others’.

I love that part of me is a Wheatley! I grew to love where my mom grew up and my grandparents deeply! The CS Ranch is a beautiful place where I ate the best food, made forts in the woods with my brother, learned to drive, and shoot guns!

While our earthly bodies are filled with sorrow and our hearts are breaking, this is truly a day of celebration for those of us in Christ Jesus! My mother is now sporting a new body with NO restrictions! She has no cough, no allergies, no bad knees, no back pain!

She has been reunited with my dad and all my grandparents! I imagine quite a celebration going on right now. It’s been ~30 years since my father and my mom’s parents headed for the heaven and I bet they all have a lot to catch up on.

It’s been said that “tomorrow is guaranteed to no one”. While on earth this is true, an eternity of tomorrows is guaranteed to anyone and everyone who believes in Jesus Christ.

As we commit our mother’s body to her final resting place alongside our father, this day is particularly special as today is my parents wedding 57th anniversary. They were married on this day, 57 years ago, on October 19, 1962.

I love you mom! You will be remembered forever and one day, we will celebrate for eternity!

Call your mother and tell her you love her today! Even better, go give her a great big hug!

Never Give Up and Never Settle for Mediocrity!

YODA

“Do or do not, there is no try!”

I had no intentions of leaving Cameron International in late 2015 after the announcement of the future purchase by Schlumberger. In fact, the idea of optimizing global logistics for Cameron and Schlumberger combined was quite thrilling. Our LEXIM (Logistics Export and Import Management) team had incredible momentum and it seemed the timing was perfect to add the giant oil and gas leader Schlumberger to the mix. Unfortunately, at the same time, the price of oil was dropping dramatically, and this strategic purchase for Schlumberger became an opportunity to right size to the current demand and we understood the potential ramifications.

Oil Price $$$

Out of our control

As one door seemingly closes, another always opens and in early 2016, I had found another tremendous opportunity. Upon my departure from Cameron, my direct manager, the Chief Ethics and Compliance Officer, Dan Chapman, my peer, the Director of Global Compliance and Project Logistics, Chad Johnson, and my wonderful team gifted me a beautiful clock plaque with one of my favorite sayings engraved on the front; “Do or do not, there is no try.” These words came from Yoda, the great Jedi Warrior character from the movies Star Wars. I had fully embraced the saying into my own leadership style always challenging others to achieve results and not merely try, being careful not to confuse activity for accomplishment.

Do!

There is no Try!

In honor of this May 4th, (May the 4th be with you, now best known as Star Wars Day), I wanted to share a few other fantastic leadership lessons from the great Jedi Warrior, some of which are very timely given today’s global environment.

“Fear is the path to the dark side.”

“Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering”

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can”

A leader must demonstrate mental strength and understand fear always leads to trouble. A leader must be careful to teach the importance of not letting one’s mind accept fear.

“Always in motion is the future”

Be mindful of the present. If you thought you had an idea of the future in 2020 when creating your annual plans just a few months ago, you now fully understand the meaning behind this lesson. While strategic planning is essential, it is equally important to be present, pivoting as needed to maintain progress on the vision.

“Mind what you have learned, save you it can”

Be a great servant leader always sharing and teaching others to become better than they thought possible. Join your team in the battle for the mission, serving side-by-side. Great leaders understand improvement must always continue, even in your legacy.

“May the Force be with You” Always!

Never Give Up and Never Settle for Mediocrity!

The Edge!

Eye of the Tiger!

In the midst of every crisis there is ALWAYS opportunity. We are in unprecedented times, quite challenging for many people, and yet there is tremendous opportunity. The simple difference is how you perceive it by what you allow to take root in your mind!

In the classic film collection Rocky, the main character Rocky is a boxer. At the end of the second film, Rocky is coming off an incredible victory following a rematch over the prior raining heavyweight champion of the world, Apollo Creed. Rocky was as the top of his game. His opponent, Apollo Creed, stated Rocky had the “eye of the tiger, the edge” that ultimately gained him the victory. 

In the beginning of third film, Rocky had become complacent and comfortable. And at the same time, a fiery upcoming challenger, Clubber Lang, also known as Mr. T, was going after Rocky and the title. Mr. T was awarded the opportunity and the fight was scheduled.

Minutes prior to the start of the fight, Mr. T confronted Rocky outside the locker rooms on the way to the ring. Tempers flared and bodies flew as the two fighters made their way to each other. In the mix of the scuffle, Mickey, Rocky’s trainer, was pushed aside and began to suffer a heart attack. Rocky noticed and stated he would call off the fight, but Mickey demanded Rocky go on.

Rocky was already not mentally ready for this fight and now with Mickey’s poor health in his mind, he was emotionally distracted and further unprepared to give his best.

The bell rang after Rocky got pummeled throughout round one and he went to his corner. Now in a frantic mindset, he stated, “Where is Mick? I need Mick. I need Mick. He’s too strong. I can’t keep him off. I can’t keep him off. I am losing it”. Rocky’s thoughts were negative, insecure, fearful, and desperate.

Shortly after the start of round two, Rocky was knocked out by Mr. T for the first and only time in his career.

Rocky returned to the locker room just in time to hear Mickey’s final words before he died in Rocky’s arms.

This was one of Rocky’s lowest points in his life. He was hurt, beaten, lost his first fight by knockout, and lost his beloved trainer and motivator. He was mentally conquered and done with boxing.

When the Rocky films came out, I was front and center for everyone. I played football from 5th grade into college and the Rocky character was incredibly inspirational and motivational for me. The soundtracks of the films were intense and perfect for training and pregame hype.

The second and third Rocky films came out when I was playing little league football. I played four years of little league between 5th and 8th grade. Coming off my 2nd year where my 6th grade team went undefeated, winning the championship game, we had everyone returning to repeat on our 7th grade team. As expected, our team dominated. We went undefeated in the regular season. In fact, no opponent even scored on us except for the last game and even then, it was only 7 points. We scored 41. We were by far the most dominate team in the 7th grade league looking to defend our title. We went into our first playoff game just like Rocky when he fought Mr. T for the first time, complacent, comfortable, and taking victory for granted. We got beat handedly that day by an opponent that failed to yield to our history of success. Relatively speaking, it was the most painful experience of my very young life. Football was everything to me. I lived and breathed the game.

The loss in the payoffs was devastating. I was hurt, beaten, just lost a season ending game we were “guaranteed” to win, and not returning to the championship game.

How did my 8th grade team respond? We had a great team. Highly motivated by our painful playoff loss the season prior, we were driven to succeed. We returned to our beginnings, trained harder, grew faster, practiced longer, studied further, and become smarter. We had regained our eye of the tiger, our edge. As fate would have it, we were matched up against the same team in the playoffs that defeated us the prior year, but we were not the same team. We were motivated, well prepared physically and mentally, and ready to play at our best. It was a great game, coming down to the final minutes. We won the game 14-8 on a pass play for a touchdown at the end of the game and we returned to the championship game where we won bluntly and regained our title as champions!

After Rocky’s trainer Mickey died, Rocky’s prior opponent, Apollo Creed, came back into Rocky’s life at his lowest point and challenged Rocky. Rocky told Apollo “I don’t need this no more, I, I don’t want this no more.” Apollo told Rocky “don’t back off now, make it right for yourself or you will be sorry you didn’t.” Rocky trained with Apollo, going back to his roots and regaining his eye of the tiger and ultimately defeating Mr. T in the rematch.

What I learned and experienced back in middle school from the films and in my football experiences has been incredibly powerful in my life as a leader. There will always be challenges that will present opportunities if we choose to see them. Contrasting, if you let them, the challenges will overtake your mind and your life.

So here we are in 2020. Do you remember what life was like just a few months ago? Maybe you were flying high and in your zone, perhaps feeling comfortable and on cruise control. Maybe you had big plans for 2020. Then, COVID-19 happened and the world changed. Now you might be hurt, beaten, and afraid. Perhaps your thoughts have become negative, insecure, fearful, and possibly even desperate.

Do you need to go back to the beginning?

What are you feeding your mind and allowing to take root?

It is your choice. Positivity and negativity cannot exist in your mind at the same time. Believe that you can overcome the past and these current challenges. Believe that you can be a champion!

Regain your eye of the tiger, your edge, and come out of this event more successful than ever before!

What you focus on will expand. Focus on the right things!

Never Give Up and Never Settle for Mediocrity!