Posts in Consulting
Overcoming the FEAR of Failure For Your Advantage!
 
0.jpeg

Fail Forward!

 

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

Not a very realistic possibility so rather I should ask, if you knew your greatest success would come if you did not fear failing, what would you do?

As students, we learn that failure does not pass. If we don’t pass, we fail. If we fail, we do not go to the next level and we began to take on a label of “failure”.

This is a dangerous philosophy.

The danger of failure isn’t necessarily the disappointment that follows, but how we use that disappointment. We have been habituated to feel unworthy or unaccomplished, as if we just don’t measure up. But avoid classifying yourself a failure. Instead, learn. Understand what did not work. Grow. Ask what can be done better. Improve. Outperform the past.

Zig Ziglar said “Failure is an event, not a person.” This separates the result of failure from ourselves to the event itself. The good news, the event is in the past and you are in the present, headed to the future. Fail. Learn. Grow. Improve.

In John C. Maxwell’s book “Failing Forward”, he shares that failure is not the opposite of success but rather the road to it. He states failure is inevitable and we should embrace it. Maxwell said, “The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.

 
JCM Quote.png

Average vs. achieving

 

Here are some examples of people who embraced their failures to get to the greatest success!

  1. Thomas Edison's teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “non-productive.” As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb before finding success. He held more than 1,000 patents and invented the incandescent light bulb, phonograph, motion picture camera, as well as many other major inventions. Edison said, “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

  2. Walt Disney was once fired from a newspaper for his lack of creativity. He also failed with this first animation company called Laugh-O-Gram Films. He later created a few classic films with a mouse that changed everything. Disney said, “It is good to have failure… because it teaches you so much.

  3. Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard and failed in a business he cofounded called Traf-O-Data, a company that generated data for traffic light placement and road improvement. He learned, fueled his gifts, and later created Microsoft and changed the world. Gates said, “It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

  4. Fred Smith while attending Yale, received a “C” from his economics professor stating his idea for a hub and spoke freight service dedicated to small, time-sensitive air freight was futile given the regulatory climate and hostility of entrenched airlines. Smith said, “Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something.” He later started Federal Express (now called FedEx) on the same idea and it quickly became known for their motto “When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.”

  5. Michael Jordan missed more than 9,000 shots, lost almost 900 games, and missed the game winning shot 26 times over his NBA career. Jordan said, “I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” He accumulated six NBA championships of which he was the most valuable player in all six. He holds many NBA records to date including the most points scoring average in the NBA finals at 41. 

  6. Reggie Jackson holds the number one position in the category of most strike outs at bat with 2,597 in MLB history. Yet, he is ranked #14 in all-time home runs at 563 from his 14 seasons in the MLB. He is a five time world series champion. What many don’t know is Reggie really wanted to play football. He twisted his knee in 1963 and the Dr’s said he would never play again. He overcame. He came back in the same season to break his neck (fractured five cervical vertebrae), and the Dr’s then said he would never walk again. He again overcame. In fact, he turned down Alabama and Georgia to play football at Arizona State where he was also allowed to play baseball. While in the MLB, according to Wayne State University Physicists, they estimated he hit a homerun in 1971 at the all-star game 650 feet. It actually hit a transformer at 400 feet, 90 feet above the ground. Jackson said, “I feel that the most important requirement in success is learning to overcome failure. You must learn to tolerate it, but never accept it.

  7. Abraham Lincoln experienced failure in 17 of 20 major life events. Yet he became the 16th president of the United States, preserving the Union during the U.S. Civil War, and brought about the emancipation of slaves.

  • Family forced out of home in 1816 (age of 7)

  • Mother died 1818

  • Less than one year formal education

  • Worked in a failed in business 1831

  • Defeated for the Legislature in 1832

  • Failed again in business in 1833

  • Elected for the Legislature in 1834

  • Sweetheart died 1835

  • Defeated for Speaker in 1838

  • Defeated for Elector in 1840

  • Married a bad wife 1842

  • Only one of his four sons lived past the age of 18

  • Defeated for Congress in 1843

  • Elected to Congress in 1846

  • Defeated for Congress in 1848

  • Defeated for Senate in 1855

  • Defeated for Vice President in 1856

  • Defeated for Senate in 1858

  • Elected to President in 1860

  • Assonated in 1965 

 
Abe.png

President Abraham Lincoln

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.”

 

President Lincoln said, “My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” Certainly he was not content and did a lot of learning, growing, and improving, for what he accomplished as President was truly amazing!

Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon where it is always day one, and arguably now the largest company in the world said, “If the size of your failures isn't growing, you're not going to be inventing at a size that can actually move the needle.

Set inspiring goals that will encourage you to take action and fail. For in failure is the best learning that leads to the greatest success. Master Yoda said, “The greatest teacher, failure is.

Don’t let your fear of failure ever be greater than your fear of inaction for this will surely prevent you from becoming all you are made to be!

You have huge potential and a unique greatness that only YOU can provide. You are amazingly capable. You are equipped and qualified to go after the awakened passions in your heart.

Fail. Learn. Grow. Improve.

Never give up and Fail Forward!

Attitude is a choice, the result is your life!
 
attitude-font-handwriting-42799-3334x1667.png

IS EVERYTHING!

And the result is your life!

 

It’s been said that “Attitude is Everything”.

By definition, attitude is the manner, disposition, feeling, position, etc., with regard to a person or thing; tendency or orientation, especially of the mind. The position or posture of the body appropriate to or expressive of an action, emotion, etc.

Attitude is both mental and physical.

“Our attitudes determine our success and happiness more than any other factor in life.” - Jimmy Evans

Our attitude is a choice.

Viktor Frankl was a prisoner of war in Germany during WWII from 1942-1945 at Auschwitz. His mother, father, brother, and pregnant wife were all killed in the camps. It would appear he had lost everything. He said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” Frankl lived to be 92 and contributed a great deal of value for many years after overcoming Auschwitz.

Attitudes are not caused by people or circumstances.

We CAN overcome any situation with a good attitude.

We are not victims of circumstances.

John C. Maxwell has spent a great deal of time and study on the topic of attitude. In his book, the Winning Attitude, John states “Attitude is the advanced man of our true selves. Its roots are inward, but its fruits are outward. It is our best friend and our worst enemy. It is more honest and consistent than our works. It is the thing that draws people to us or repels them. It is never content until it is expressed. It is the librarian of our past, it is the speaker of our present, it is the prophet of our future.”

He continues to share:

“Our Attitude…

1.     …Is a Choice

2.     …Determines Our Approach To Life

3.     …Determines Our Relationship With People

“The most important single ingredient to the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” - Teddy Roosevelt

4.     …Is the Only Difference Between Success and Failure

“Always be kind to your ‘A’ and ‘B’ students. Someday one of them will return to your campus as a good professor. And also be kind to your ‘C’ students. Someday one of them will return and build a two-million dollar science laboratory.” - The President of Yale University

5.     …At the Beginning of a Task Will Affect the Outcome More Than Anything Else

6.     …Can Turn Our Problems into Blessings

“What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude towards it. Every opportunity has a difficulty and every difficulty has an opportunity.” - Sidlow Baxter

7.     …Can Give Us an Uncommonly Positive Perspective”

Attitude is more important than your talent, skill, and ability in determining success.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” - Zig Ziglar

Attitude groups people into a few basic categories:

1.     The people you WANT to be around

2.     The people you DON’T WANT to be around

Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?

If not, can an attitude be changed? 

“Who we are today is the result of choices we made yesterday. Tomorrow we will become what we chose today. To change means to choose to change.” - John C. Maxwell

Words have POWER! Here is one simple yet powerful thing to begin a change in your Attitude:

Make a conscious effort to speak words of positivity. It’s as simple as replacing “if” with “when” (“when I achieve that goal”, rather than “if I ever finish…”). Talk success into a reality!

If you were trying to motivate someone, you would offer words of support, encouragement, and inspiration. It is the same for yourself. Unfortunately, many people limit themselves with a self-defeating internal voice saying things like “I can’t. I doubt. I don’t think. I don’t have the time. I’m afraid. I don’t believe.”

This self-doubt will deteriorate our attitude and limit success. Rather than speak defeat, change the words to “I can. I expect the best. I know. I’ll make the time. I am confident. I believe.”

This change in yourself will reap significant positive benefits. Change this in your team and magnify the results considerably further. This little secret has been one of the biggest keys to great success in my own career!

 
attitude-is-everything-sign-or-stamp-vector-24372941.jpg

Attitude is a game changer!

 

“Nothing can stop the man with the right a right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” - President Thomas Jefferson

Attitude is more important than aptitude in determining success.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” - Zig Ziglar 

Why not reach for the stars?

Change your thinking, change your attitude, change your result.

One day we will all cross the finish line of our life. How will you finish? Will you let fate determine your final score or will you take control and write your own story?

Never give up and Be Hungry!

The HUGE Impact of a Negative Mindset
 
photodune-6366703-messy-thoughts-s.jpg

The POWER of NEGATIVITY

And How to Overcome It!

 

Have you ever heard someone say, “think before you speak”? This is a common phrase a parent or grandparent would often tell a child or maybe even an elementary school teacher to a student. What we didn’t know then was just how POWERFUL verbalizing our thoughts can be. And even more importantly, how damaging it can be if the thoughts are negative.

As Darth Vader said it: “You don’t know the power of the dark side!”

It has been studied and proven that mindset has a significant separator impact in athletes which creates the gap between the best and the rest. Your mindset is a difference maker and can work for you or against you.

I recall hearing Lou Holtz learn the power of verbalizing thoughts early in his career when his team was down less than six points with just enough time left on the clock to win the game. They got the ball and he recalled the last thing he said to his quarterback as he headed towards the huddle “don’t throw an interception.” And his QB did exactly that and they lost the game. Coach Holtz realized the power of his words and how they worked against him vs. for him. He said he never again coached the same and always stated the positive outcome he was looking for.

In athletics and especially in business, the mind is the most powerful asset we have. It is the difference maker. And the power of negativity is HUGE. A recent study revealed some staggering statistics what happens to a person with a negative mindset:

·      Creativity decreases 18%

·      Errors increase 30%

·      Illness is either started or exacerbated 83%

·      Just three minutes of the News can increase negativity 27%

These are detrimental to yourself, others and your career!

Even more shocking is the effect of thought verbalization. It has been shown that a negative thought has a 4-7% impact on any given outcome and verbalizing those thoughts magnify the outcome 10%. Combined, a negative thought verbalized increases the probability 40-70%.

 
2 by 3 ration.jpg

40-70%

Increase in Probability!

 

It can be as simple as saying:

“Nothing ever goes my way.”

“I’m having another one of those days.”

“When it rains, it pours.”

“I will never get through this.”

“Failure is in our family DNA.”

“ That’s just the way it is.” 

“And as fate would have it…”

It reminds me of the song lyrics of an old TV show called Hee Haw… “If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all.. doom, despair, and agony on me.”

Here are a few interesting examples of just how powerful a negative mindset can be:

Boston Red Sox Bill Buckner’s Nightmare Comes True!

The “Curse of the Bambino” was a superstitious sports curse named for Babe Ruth after he was sold from the Boston Red Sox to the New York Yankees in 1919. Before Ruth’s departure, the Red Sox had been one of the most successful teams, winning five of the first 15 World Series titles. After the sale, the Red Sox went without a title for nearly a century while the previously lackluster Yankees became one of the most successful teams. The curse was a major negative thought well verbalized for many years and undoubtedly had a real effect on the team’s psyche! In game six in the 1986 world series, bottom of the 10th inning, the Boston Red Sox were one out from winning the world series and breaking the infamous curse. In a wild and incredible game that went into extra innings with the New York Mets, the very thing that Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner stated just 12 days prior happened. In an interview, Buckner stated “the dreams are that you are going to have a great series and win, and the nightmares are that you are going to let the winning run score on a ground ball through your legs.”

And that is exactly what happened. The Mets’ were down 6-5, an erroneous pitch scored the tying run and then New York Mets’ Mookie Wilson hit a sure out game ending ground ball towards the first base line and as previously verbalized, went right through Buckner’s legs.

 
Screen Shot 2020-06-08 at 10.33.17 PM.png

Nightmare!

 

Believing an erroneous SAT score changed everything!

A young man was struggling to succeed in high school and was near expulsion. He promised his mother he would take the SAT, a college entrance exam. At the time, the SAT had two sections, math and verbal accumulating to 800 points each. To his surprise, the results showed he obtained a 1480 out of 1600. He mother assumed he cheated, and the young man said he intended to, but the chairs were too far apart. At this point, he began to believe that he was actually smart and had a gift. He started attending class and changed who he was hanging around. His teachers noticed the difference. He was able to go onto a four year college and then to an Ivy League school and eventually becomes one of the most successful magazine entrepreneurs in the world.

12 years after receiving his SAT score, he received a letter. The SAT board periodically reviews their test taking procedures and policies. In their study, they found that he was one of 13 people sent the wrong SAT score. His actual score was 740/1600.

People say that the erroneous score changed his life, but it was his thoughts and actions that changed his life. People who score a 1480/1600 go to class.

A man’s thoughts froze him to death at 55 degrees

A young man who worked on a train crew was strong, healthy, and married with two children. He had many friends. His only fault was he was a constant pessimist. He worried about everything and usually feared the worst. One day, the young man was accidentally locked in a refrigerator boxcar at the end of the work shift and he began to panic.

After hours of banging and shouting, no one came. He began to scratch words into the wooden floor of the boxcar. He wrote, “It’s so cold, my body is getting numb. If I could just go to sleep. These may be my last words.”

The next morning the crew opened the heavy doors of the boxcar and found the young man dead. An autopsy revealed that every physical sign of his body indicated he had frozen to death. And yet the refrigeration unit of the car was inoperative, and the temperature inside indicated fifty-five degrees. The young man killed himself by the power of negative mindset.

So how do we combat this powerful effect? Here are a few thoughts to consider and actions to take:

1.     Life is not easy. Difficulties and challenges will come but you are NOT a victim. You have control over your thoughts.

2.     Challenge your thinking. Ask yourself if your thoughts are true and if they serve you well.

3.     Say nothing if a negative thought appears. Negative thoughts come to every person. DO NOT verbalize them. Be quiet.

4.     Find words of gratitude and get creative!

5.     Stop the intake of negative News, Social Media.

6.     What you seek, you will find. Look for ways to intake information that will inspire you and make you wise, insightful, helpful, and motivated.

7.     Stop handing around negative people.

8.     Find positive, purpose driven, encouraging people who see you better to spend time with. People who will challenge you and expect more. People that care about you enough to call you out when needed and help you improve.

9.     Be consistent in your path to optimism! Do the little things well every day and build your mental strength. “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” – Will Smith

10.  Understand that happiness is an emotional response to an outcome and is not sustainable. Rather, seek joy! Joy is a constant feeling you get when you are purposeful and doing what you are created to do.

Remember, thoughts become emotions which become actions which become results. You have control over what thoughts you keep and what thoughts you discard.

Never give up and Get Creative!