Posts in Consulting
Limiting Beliefs & How to Overcome Them!
 
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 1.  What is a limiting belief?

 A subjective statement about the truth. A limiting belief is a state of mind, conviction, or belief that you think to be true that limits you in some way.

A limiting belief could be about you, your interactions with other people, or with the world and how it works.

There are moments in life when something happens. We make up a story about the why and the what. We start to live as if our story were true. Because we believe they’re keeping us safe.

“Self-esteem is the single most significant key to a person’s behavior.”

~John C. Maxwell

2.  What are some examples of limiting beliefs?

 - I am not good enough

- I am not smart enough

- I am not pretty enough

- I am not strong enough

- I am too young

- I am too old

- I am afraid of failing

- I don’t have the resources

- I am a victim of my circumstances

- I have already tried everything

- It’s selfish of me to want more

- I don’t deserve it

- All the good ones are taken

- I don’t have what it takes

- I am a bad person

- I can’t do that because…

- I am this way because…

- I can’t

- I am just average

- It’s not up to me, so it’s not worth the effort

- It’s not fair

- They are better than me

- No one likes me

- People will judge me

- I don’t want to get hurt

- I should be doing something else instead

- I don’t need this

- Nothing ever goes my way

- I’m having another one of those days

- When it rains, it pours

- I will never get through this

- Failure is in our family DNA

- That’s just the way it is

 3.  Why do we have them and where do they come from?

 ·      Upbringing

o   Most researchers agree that by age six, a person's belief system is fairly well formed. By then, youngsters have a pretty solid idea of what they believe to be right and wrong, fair and unfair, good and bad.

o   By the time you are 17, you’ve heard “No, you can’t” 150,000 times. “Yes, you can” 5,000 times.

·      Environment, Surroundings

o   We are a reflection of the status we are living in

·      Society, Stereotypes

o   Lower class, wrong side of town / state, race, sex, etc.

·      Other’s Opinions

·      Comparison

·      Low Self-Esteem

o   Fear

o   Self-doubt

The truth is, these stories are stopping you from getting the big results you’re looking for! 

Low self-esteem puts a ceiling on our potential.

As we think in our hearts, so we become.

Zig Ziglar said, “It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with out we see ourselves. We can do very few things in a positive way if we feel negative about ourselves.”

Nathaniel Branden says, “No factor is more important in people’s psychological development and motivation than the value judgements they make about themselves. Every aspect of their lives is impacted by the way they see themselves.”

Nathaniel continues, “If you feel inadequate to face challenges, unworthy of love or respect, unentitled to happiness, and fear assertive thoughts, wants, or needs – if you lack basic self-trust, self-respect, and self-confidence – your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess.”

The value we place on ourselves is usually the value others place on us.

If you put a small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise the price. If you want to become the person you have the potential to be, you must believe you can!

Most people are naturally tempted to settle into a comfort zone where they choose comfort over potential. They fall into familiar patterns and habits, doing the same things in the same way, with the same people, getting the same results. ~John C. Maxwell 

4.  How do we overcome them?

1.     Awareness: Identify the problem (what is the root cause)

a.     In fact, self-awareness is the key predictor in success in life and business and it can be learned

b.     Identify what rituals are keeping you in that place?

2.     Ask yourself: Is this belief serving me or harming me?

3.     Intention: What do you want? (vision, be specific) State: I am NOT THIS belief!

4.     Develop unshakeable self-confidence (what you think about, becomes (e.g. boldness, self-confidence))

Life begins at the end of our comfort zone!

5.     Take back your power

a.     Stop blaming the outside world for your results

“I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet” ~Gandhi

6.     Talk to someone about your limiting beliefs

a.     If you want to change your old, limiting story and create new empowering beliefs about yourself, to live a life of flow and inspiration, seek out the help that you need to make this happen for you.

7.     What needs to change? Your attitude. Allow for possibility.

a.     Change the way you think and talk to yourself. Be an encourager to yourself and others.

-       When you do a good job, give yourself a compliment

-       When you choose discipline over indulgence, recognize how you are helping yourself

-       When you make a mistake, don’t bring up everything wrong, tell yourself you are learning and growing. Forgive and move on.

b.     Some examples of positive self-talk

                                               i.     I’ve got this

                                             ii.     I can learn anything

                                            iii.     Nobody outworks me

                                            iv.     I am fearless

                                              v.     I am loved

                                            vi.     I am more than a conqueror

                                           vii.     I am bold and confident

                                         viii.     I am well able

Thoughts => Emotions => Actions => Results

c.     Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on becoming better today than you were yesterday. Improve and grow.

d.     Develop a clear path of action (set achievable goals (SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound)

                                               i.     Write down 12 goals you want to accomplish in the next 12 months

                                             ii.     Pick your most important and impactful goal

                                            iii.     Create a deadline for that goal

                                            iv.     Make a list of all the things that you need to do to achieve that goal

                                              v.     Commit to working on that goal every single day

                                            vi.     Consistency over time creates a habit, a new positive ritual

e.     Some actions to consider:

                                               i.     Seek a worthy cause

                                             ii.     Be intentional in all aspects of your life

                                            iii.     Eliminate negativity

                                            iv.     Choose who you hang around

                                              v.     Be consistent towards growth

                                            vi.     Add value to others by pursuing love and service to others

                                           vii.     See others as sisters and brothers who complement you

                                         viii.     Take responsibility for your life. We get out of our life what we tolerate.

 “The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

~Franklin D. Roosevelt

You do have value

You can change

You can make a difference

You can learn

You can grow

You can become the person you were created to be

You just have to believe

Keep Focused and move forward  

Action Plan:

I am so happy and grateful now that…

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Never give up and Never Settle!

It’s Halftime of 2020! The Great R__________?
 
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It has been said that history repeats itself meaning things often happen in the same way as they did before. In the early 1900’s, the 20’s were referred to as the Roaring Twenties

According to History.com, “the Roaring Twenties were a period in history of dramatic social and political change. For the first time, more Americans lived in cities than on farms. The nation’s total wealth more than doubled between 1920 and 1929, and this economic growth swept many Americans into an affluent but unfamiliar “consumer society.” People from coast to coast bought the same goods (thanks to nationwide advertising and the spread of chain stores), listened to the same music, did the same dances and even used the same slang! The 1920s were roaring indeed.” 

 
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The ROARING 20’s

Will History Repeat?

 

How interesting… Are we facing a similar repeat of history a century later? In 2020, we have had several unprecedented and somewhat uncontrollable events occur and are in a forced disruption like no other and massive change is happening! In many areas, the ways of doing things from just a few months ago are now obsolete! We are now Zooming, literally!

What will 2020 be called in the history books to come? Here are a few ideas that came to mind in the theme of the Great R__________.

2020 The GREAT R__________!

  • Rebound – spring back from force or impact

  • Reset – to set again

  • Reinvention – to invent again or anew

  • Restoration – bring back into existence

  • Resurgence – rise again

  • Rejuvenation – to make young again

  • Revival – bringing back to life, an awakening

  • Renewal – to begin again

  • Reboot – new version, new beginning

  • Revealer – to make known, disclose, divulge

  • R__________?

Only time will tell and we have something to say about it!

When I was 19 and in my first year of college, I faced tragedy on a scale that I never experienced before or since. My father battled cancer in a big way for four years and unfortunately was overcome. During the same timeframe, I lost both my grandmother and grandfather as well from my Mother’s side of the family. These three people were my closest relatives back then. But life didn’t stop. And thank God, neither did I. While I miss my family dearly, I have lived a blessed life and it keeps getting better!

In 2020, we have had a tough start. Many things have not gone in our favor and certainly not as planned. You might say the enemy has taken the lead so far. We are now halfway through the year, how will 2020 end? THE GAME IS NOT OVER!

I love sports! You can have the worst first half of your life and still have a chance to win the game. During my junior year of high school, I was back-up to the starting Quarterback and twice, we were down at halftime against both of our cross-town rivals. I was called into both games late in the third quarter and was fortunate to lead the team to comeback victories in both games. It is an incredible feeling to overcome adversity, great deficit, and claim victory!

Like in sports, life is never about getting knocked down but how we respond. How we get up and what we do then matters most.

My favorite college football team is the Texas Tech Red Raiders. They claim one of the biggest comebacks in bowl history. In the 2006 Insight Bowl, Texas Tech was down 35-7 at halftime against the Minnesota Gophers and even further in the 3rd quarter after Minnesota opened with a field goal. With the score 38-7, Texas Tech’s fast and high scoring offense was about to emerge for full display. The Red Raiders under the leadership of quarterback Graham Harrell tied the game in regulation and then won in overtime. It was an incredible comeback from an overwhelming deficit never been seen before. "We talked at halftime that we had a great opportunity to make history, and the reason people come to Texas Tech is to play all 60 minutes," said Head Coach Mike Leach, who fought back tears during a postgame interview. "Everyone felt like, 'Hey, we're going to win,'" said Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell, who was selected bowl MVP. "If you believe, good things can happen." 

 
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Down 31 Points

Texas Tech Rallies to WIN 44-41

 

Well, we may not be down 38 points but the enemy is touting an early victory. But what the enemy does not know is we are resilient. We are a determined people and have ALWAYS overcome! We are quick studies and have learned to adapt. We have pivoted our 2020 plans have found new ways to succeed. We are innovative and will not be denied.

Whatever 2020 gets labeled in the future history books, I believe it will be a comeback story! We will overcome and claim the victory!

Pull out your goals, your 2020 Strategy, your values, and get creative! Find a new way to get to your intended destination! Get motivated and let’s win this thing!

Please enjoy some great halftime speeches in the following links.

 
 
 
 

As Graham Harrell said, "If you believe, good things can happen." 

Never give up, Never Settle and BELIEVE!

Don’t be Average!
 
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Be better!

 

I just completed my annual physical. I have been seeing the same doctor for the past ~10 years and three months into this 2020 crisis, I just obtained my BEST RESULTS ever! Yes! But unfortunately, the staggering news from my doctor was that I was the only one that had positive improvement in the same office during this crisis. Everyone else’s results are worse than last time.

Why the difference?

I believe it has everything to do with my approach to my spirit, body, and mind.

Everyone is living within their own story. And in every good story, according to Donald Miller of StoryBrand, there are four main characters:

  • The Victim

  • The Villain

  • The Hero

  • The Guide

I would predict that those with a negative annual physical result have fallen into the entitlement trap of being the victim or the villain in their own story. After all, 2020 has not started out the way any of us thought or would have hoped for. But, does that mean we are doomed? I think NOT!

 
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Are you above average?

 

As for my story, I am targeting the guide! The one who has a plan, helps the hero eliminate the villain, and removes victim mentality. As the guide, my goal is to inspire and motivate people to overcome their limitations and live the maximum positive version of themselves.

Since March 1, I seriously stepped up my morning routine. I start with reading and centering spiritually. I then go to the gym and have increased my activity 3x over so far since getting into a solid routine. And finally, I protect what I input into my body and especially my mind. I eat well and pound positivity into my mind all day long! For you become what you think about all day long. I do not let negativity hand around!

I blogged recently about the power of a negative mindset and a few seriously damaging results. One of which stated illness is either started or exacerbated 83% with a negative mindset! To the contrary, a positive mindset makes you mentally and physically stronger to face off illness and live your greatest life.

We have been taught for a long time that most people fall into a category of normality. In fact, there is a statistically proven model called the graph of normality or otherwise known as the bell curve, that shows the categories people fall into. And the curve shows the majority of people fall into the middle section referred to as “normal” or “average”.

You can measure people any most any category and find the results basically fit into this curve. Standardize tests like the SAT and ACT (college entrance exams), annual performance reviews, level of spiritually, focus and execution on physical activity, etc. In fact, I was at the gym on Saturday morning and the only people there were in the way above average physical category, where I want to be and am headed! The rest of the people were somewhere else, being average.

Going to the gym is easy to do and unfortunately, easier not to. People gravitate to the lowest level acceptable standard.

I challenge you to raise your personal lowest level acceptable standard to better than average and see the difference over time. It is compelling!

Dave Ramsey has made a huge impact in people’s lives with the phase “live like no one else so you can live like no one else.” Push yourself above average now so you can live above average later. Live the life of your dreams, not settling for mediocrity.

There is good news!

No matter where you fall on the bell curve in any category, you CAN move to the better end. It takes FOCUS, dreams, goals, actions, accountability, and self-determination. You have to guard your input and your circle of influence. For what you focus on expands. We have this really cool feature in our brain called the Reticular Activator System (RAS). The RAS allows the brain to automatically take what you focus on and create a filter for it. Focus on the bad things and you will invite negativity into your life. Focus on the good things and they will come to you, because your brain is seeking them out. It’s not magic, it’s your RAS influencing the world you see around you.

 
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Where is your FOCUS?

 

If we set our intent and focus, our RAS will help us out. Our brains look out for our interests. Our RAS is filtering through billions of pieces of data so we can see and hear and be what we want to be.

Malcolm X said, “That which do you do not hate, you will eventually tolerate.” People become impervious and numb to the person they are becoming. They minimize where they really are to avoid the pain of reality.

You will get out of your life what you will accept! Raise your standard!

It is YOUR story! The finish line will come! Will you let fate decide the result of your story or will you take control?

Be your life’s hero today! Accept the reality of where you are and get going for the next level of you. Be ambitious about it!

Believe that your past can never be bigger than your future and make it happen!

Never give up, Be Above Average and Never Settle for Mediocrity!